The Unauthorised Rules of Writing a Novel

I normally stay away from this sort of thing, but now my social media profiles say that I'm a writer I keep getting helpful advice thrown my way, and invitations to give my money to people who will tell me how to write the perfect book.

Ignoring all of the "How to get Published" articles telling you how to approach the Agent, Publisher or Editor of your dreams, or the "How to self-publish on Amazon" posts (which is my method and not as easy as you might think, but that's another story), there are thousands of articles giving you the rules of writing.

There are literally rules for everything. It's amazingly confusing.
Build the plot like this.
Create the perfect character like that.
Describe the scene this way.
Use these verbs.
Don't use these verbs.
Avoid cliches.
Uses cliches to keep the reader comfortable.
Take the reader out of their comfort zone.
Follow the rules at all times.
Break the rules.

I've been writing for almost as long as I could hold a pencil. The moment I realised I could translate the thoughts in my head into symbols on paper, I was a writer.
As a child, I was mistaken for studious because no matter where I was, I was either head in a book or pen in hand. No, I looked studious but in my head, I was exploring new planets. When I should have been revising for exams, I was putting fictional characters in peril and inventing new ways of causing trouble for them.
No one ever explained the rules to me, it never even occurred to me that there were rules. Of course, there has always been grammar and spelling, but to me that is a part of the translation. A well placed comma, a deliberate mis-spelling in dialogue, moving to a new paragraph, they are a writers tools to build their universe.


I'm a rebel, I don't follow the rules, not the strict "Thou Shalt" rules for formulaic writing. My brain doesn't work that way, I do fantasy and creativity, not logical progression.

You make the rules

Yes, you.

Some writers prefer to build a book with detailed plot outlines and chapter titles, approaching it as they would a thesis. Each character has their own personnel file, each place a map and key details written out. They can highlight a precise to do list and tick each chapter off the list as they work from beginning to end.
I really admire people who can do that. I wish I could be so logical. In my last book, I had written the Epilogue before I had even decided how my main antagonist was going to be dispatched (oops, no I'm not sorry). Inspiration strikes in a chaotic nature, it cannot be tamed and made to come on command.

The way I write would make some other authors tear their hair out, my characters rule the roost and decide what's going to happen as I write (I have very little to do with the decision making process, which quite frankly is disturbing at times but makes life interesting).
Over the years I have come to terms with my style and with the way it is still evolving.

There are no hard and fast rules. There are formulas and premade routes you can follow to write a novel, methods that will get anyone a complete book, but if I'm honest, this can be spotted a mile off. I'm not saying you can't produce good books this way, a lot of authors do, but a rigid and much used method produces a rigid and predictable result. Someone who reads a lot will notice it (although some people like that, so don't be scared to give it try if that's your preference).

These are my personal rules (just for reference)

Keep writing, get comfortable with writing, make it your own. You will find your unique method and style.
Do planning.
Do free form.
Do writing.
Do reading.
Do more reading.
Do more writing.
Keep writing.



If you really want to write a book, if you're desperate to do it, it will happen.
The first draft may be terrible, you might read it back to yourself and be embarrassed to have written it. That's fine, do it again. You might read it and love it, that's fine too. Just be honest with yourself and keep writing.

It's your Novel, just write it.

How to be anti-social: Become a Writer

"Someone said you've written a book. That must be exciting."
This was actually said to me the other day and it made me stop in my tracks.

Writing isn't exciting.
Writing is sitting at a desk for hours upon hours, pouring out your soul as you type. Then it's more hours deleting the work you spent hours on simply because your mood has changed and now you hate everything you created.

It's months of creatively tearing your hair out to make the vision in your mind match the words on the screen. Then it's time for editing - don't get me started on the pain involved with shredding your beloved work to pieces to make it fit the right box for reader consumption.
As for publishing... *shudder*


Writing can be a work of love, but it can also be a painful labour of dogged determination and absolute stubbornness.

Have I put you off yet?

No?

You might just be stubborn enough for the gig.


But I haven't got to the best part yet. The part that really sets you apart from the normal people.

That's right. Writing is incredibly anti-social.

While other people get to go to work and interact with real living people, your interactions play out inside your head and on the page.
When you do actually go outside you find yourself watching people, you see how they behave and what they do. You know you're beyond help when you find yourself scripting their actions. It's hard to relax and simply enjoy the moment when you're analysing it, you find yourself permanently placed on the outside looking in. The worst part is - you put yourself there!
It's well known that I take a notepad and pen with me everywhere because inspiration can strike at any time and once it hits I can't concentrate on anything else until it's written down. I need a "Do Not Disturb" sign to hang round my neck when I sit down with my pad and pen


So I urge you, fellow writers, it's time to unite! Separately, at our computers, without real people around to interrupt us.

You're either a writer or a reader.
It's time to choose sides.